look back

well here it is… another year older, another year over, and on to the next one. 

i am beginning to craft resolutions for the new year and taking a second to reflect on 2010.

this past year was an important year for me. i grew up.
i think to the past few years and they were wild, crazy, full of extreme highs and lows. i was taking risks. i was selfish. i was full of adventure. and never considering consequences. i can look back and see all the struggle and pain, yet the joy and bliss. i traveled to far away places. became independent. believed in myself. then came 2010. where i took all those things and experiences and channeled it into a powerful mindset. 2010 was my turning point to see my world for what it is. to make myself happy. of all the important lessons i have learned thus far the one thing i am constantly empowered by is the fact that yes… i have the tools to make my life exactly what i want it to be. i played it safe in 2010. there were no wild trips to far away places. there were no huge risks or leaps of faith. instead, thought out choices and practical actions. i needed this year to stabilize and catch up with myself. 
to come home. 

2010 has given me a new outlook on life. i have seen that i can work much harder than i ever thought. i have seen that i can accomplish goals and surpass all expectations i had of myself with flying colors. i have learned that i can do what i set my mind to. i have also learned to let grudges go and forgiveness is such a powerful release of emotions. 

another lesson learned in 2010 is that:   sometimes it doesn’t matter how many chances you give a person they won’t change. i’ve been beaten down and kicked around by people and yet i believe that next time they will change. and they don’t.
it is hard because i want to believe that my friendship is worth enough to someone to not treat me that way, but i see that it isn’t about me or what i can give. it’s a struggle within the other person and i will never be able to fix that. sadly, there will be a few people who i am going to stop putting effort into in 2011. simply because i realize they don’t deserve it. i am sad to let those people go. i am also happy because i am realizing that my core support system is filled with brilliant, strong and wise people. we bring out the best in each other and our bonds grow closer. 

2011 will be a new chapter. i am excited for what it can bring. i am excited for how amazing i can make it. stay tuned this week for resolutions. they are coming. they will be bold. they will be risky. filled with positive energy. bring it on 2011.

love, the best is yet to come xx