i have been wanting to write something about ryan for awhile now. every time i sit down for my latest attempt i end up walking away. today is his birthday. so i am writing.
i will regret everyday that i didn’t know him better. we sometimes seemed like strangers. and for me the most heart breaking part is seeing people i love’s heart breaking. but as tragic as it is, i want to find some positive things- if possible.
For Ryan, Forever Young
We will never understand why you had to leave so soon,
memories were left to be made- loose ends not tied.
Hearts will never stop breaking- the pain is constant.
it hurts the way it ended- anyone would have gone in your place.
But now you are gone-a hole in the lives of all of us.
Each step towards moving on- is met with a stumble and fall- it seems.
Wishes for one last moment- to see the smile that lit up the room.
Normal is lost- tears never ending- what do we do now that you’re gone.
Slowly realizing the truth- that we cannot change.
People begin to search within the deepest corners- and find courage.
You know better than me- our family is close,
If possible you have brought them closer- they love stronger now.
I believe you give us signs. A bruins win. A hurricane for your birthday party,
we see it- we know you are here with us- watching over us everyday.
the comfort in knowing you are above- opens our hearts for hope and-
the strength to lift up one another and love harder- you taught us life is a gift.
In Ryan fashion, you are the one giving gifts on your day,
Your family is finding the will to keep going. I’ve seen them start to smile.
and I know you are smiling too- laughter now isn’t a forgotten sound.
this is how you wanted it-this was your plan. i know you are up there rooting for us all.
For you- we will not take life for granted- treasure our smallest victories.
Support each other in our greatest failures.
We will laugh, we will smile, we will keep hope in our hearts.
But we will have you there too- in our hearts, always
happy birthday cousin. i’ll see you on the other side.
love, never forgotten-forever missed-always loved.
Leave a Reply