I haven’t done of these in awhile. I like sitting down and writing to you. Getting my thoughts down to the page and off my chest.
Lately, I have been thinking about life’s journey. Thinking about the wild turns and curves it brings. Learning how to maneuver, adapt and change…yet be true to yourself.
I have talked about this before on the blog, but according to my plan, my life thus far was supposed to be very different….
Circa November 2012 I received an email…(which is still in my inbox ha)
“Further to your recent application to one of our postgraduate programmes at Edinburgh Napier University, I am pleased to inform you that you have been made an unconditional offer to join the course in September 2013. Please see the attached copy of your offer letter for details of the next steps you will need to take for joining the University.”
I was accepted to a Master’s program in Edinburgh, Scotland. I was going to be enrolled in the fall 2013. I had a little less than 9 months to prepare, save money and say my goodbyes. To be honest, I didn’t want to come back. Scotland felt like my home and I ready to return, to follow my dreams.
Life continued with a new sense of courage. I did all things with a careless abandon. My mantra was, “well I’m leaving in a couple months, forever.”
I was so anxious to start my new life. I already had it all planned out. I was going to live in the UK as a student, get a job, most likely marry my good friend Blair (haha he will get a laugh out of that) and live happily ever after. I believed Scotland was the only way I’d find happiness.
Life had other plans for me. I met D (of course. Isn’t that always how love works?). I became happier with my life in Portland. Things were changing. I finally told D I had plans to move away in March 2013. He might not remember this, but his response was, “Well that’s pretty long, long distance- but it could work.”
I finally decided myself- about May 2013, I wasn’t leaving. I gave up my biggest dream for hopes of a life with a new love and a new happiness.
On all accounts it has worked out. I am happy. Truly happy.
I can’t help but think how my life could have turned out. However, I cannot imagine a life without D & the friends I have.
It is scary to let go of dreams. It is scary to follow your heart. It is scary to accept things aren’t going to turn out the way you planned. Sometimes life has a surprise in store for you. I mean now I have Winston 🙂
I believe whole-heartedly, I am where I belong. I am surrounded by people who want the best for me. I have found unconditional love and support. You need to believe in the path you are on and keep going even when there is a bend in the road. Be true to yourself and fight for what you believe in.
Be fearless. Believe in fate. Keep your head up.
Love, Rachel xo
Similar to you, a few years ago, I seriously thought about going to grad school in London (I'd applied to for an MA in accountin of all things, shudder). I ended up staying here and moving to San Francisco instead, and eventually wound up back in PDX. I still always wonder how things would have turned out, but I'm pretty happy that I stayed here. Aw, this is such a great post, it really captures all those feelings well.
I'm so glad you stayed in Portland 🙂 Things always have a way of working out for the best! xoxo
this is really interesting to read (mainly because i don't know anything about this part of your life… yet). my original plan was to go off to publishing school and then move to NYC to publish books and magazines. lololol. enter the option for a long-distance relationship w/ ben or pound the pavement and starve in NYC. it was pretty easy for me to choose. so interesting how things work out!
It's a fun love story… you chose love! I'm glad you are happy here in Portland.
You had me before the word WINSTON!!!
Just kidding…very happy you stayed and found a life you love
Love this story! It's true that life doesn't always go as planned, but I know I still love looking back at all of the memories I've created along the way.
Your story rings true for me. It seems my life has not turned out like I planned. I had dreams of being a wife and mom of a large family at a young age. Instead, I only got married a couple years ago and have no children – almost 40! Yet, I'm thankful. And being content at any stage of life is so important for joy and happiness.
So glad you are in Portland!!!
Love this. I feel like life always works out if we approach the adventure of uncertainty with open arms. Glad you are here in Portland 🙂 That Fitzgerald quote is also one of my faves.
I always think that it is interesting/fun/scary to think about the "what ifs" in life and where we all might be if we chose a different path. But obviously I am beyond happy you chose to build a life in Portland! (It was fate that brought us together I'd like to think 😉 )
PS – I don't think I've ever seen that Fitzgerald quote before. I love it.